From Your Diary: Vineeta Parupudi
Language: Limiting or Liberating?
Language is the largest thing that sets us humans apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. We have the ability to establish a language that a group of others can understand, interpret, and respond to, and this is the greatest thing that apparently makes us humans the most advanced beings on this planet. Now while that last part is debatable, I do think that there is some sort of magic and sheer power that is sewn into the words that we speak and write. They are somehow indestructible as we see literary works that have persisted for centuries. They are also somehow destructive, as we hear of bullies tearing apart the spirit and minds of other human beings. Ultimately, JK Rowling said it best as well loved Dumbledore, “words are...our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”
As children who have grown up in the Indian culture, this emphasis on the importance of words merely doesn’t exist. Indian culture, in my personal experience, is a culture that is more firmly rooted in actions and achievements, not the words that describe the feelings behind any of that. As a consequence, despite all our beautiful languages capable of expressing the deepest love or the most harrowing pain, we as a culture don’t nearly utilize these words effectively and continuously fail to understand the impact that they have on our young children and the upcoming generations.
I am the oldest in most all of my extended family and I’ve had the pleasure of watching all my younger cousins grow up, and while that usually meant I was the free babysitting service, as these kids grow into teens and young adults I have had the opportunity to witness and dissect this culture’s inherent disregard towards language. One day I heard the comment “I’m switching her to 2% milk, she’s starting to develop” as my aunt expressed her concern about my young cousin growing into a woman and gaining her curves. In our culture many women are told to wear tops that cover our butts, and things that don’t show our shoulders. Another family friend told her daughter that she needed to wear a full surfing rash guard over her swimsuit because she doesn’t want anyone to notice her daughter’s body shape. Her daughter was 11.
These young girls hear these comments and even if they don’t understand what the reasoning is behind them, when they are penalized for not following these guidelines. These words constantly reinforce to these young women that their bodies are something to be ashamed of and hide away from the world “to keep them safe.” But regardless of how these people spin their tale, these young minds are only telling themselves “my body should be hidden. It is gross and people shouldn’t see it.” These same families come to me and express concern that their daughter is speaking negatively about her body and claiming to be ugly. I couldn’t wrap my head around their confusion at first, I thought the reason was clear as day: your limiting language as a parent. But as I investigated further I understood, these adults didn’t even understand that the words they said were the ones that first and foremost planted the seed of doubt in their children’s head. They could not comprehend that these children took to heart the words that their parents kept repeating like a broken record. They always told me “I love them though, How do they not know that? We are always so positive and encouraging in the house to let them pursue whatever they like. I don't understand why they keep saying this sort of thing. It makes me angry that they don’t see all the love that we have for them.” I will tell you now: no person is ever going to be able to look past your harmful words to see actions that you think you are performing in love. Your words matter.
It is time now as being a part of, in my opinion, the most influential generation in our culture yet, to bring these issues forward. Tell your family members that the words that they are saying don’t convey to you the love that they are intending to convey but rather show negativity and microaggressions. Call out the words, and teach them to replace the language laced with careless negativity with kinder words. Our language is what sets us apart, our languages are held with pride in our hearts. It’s time to do our language justice. Liberate others with the words you speak, don’t limit them.
- Vineeta Parupudi
