From Your Diary: Steven Injety
Volume 1, December 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, December 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Steven Injety

I came to America to study in a private Christian university in Michigan. When I first landed in Chicago Airport with little knowledge of where I was going, I was slightly overwhelmed to say the least. I searched around for any friendly faces in the airport. To my dismay, I could not see any. However, I saw Indian-looking people and gravitated towards them. After a while they struck up a conversation and they ended up helping me get arrangements to my university. Two people from two different faiths united by their culture. This experience taught me that I can be an Indian Christian without having to choose between the two.

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From your Diary: Deepak Seshadri
Volume 1, December 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, December 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From your Diary: Deepak Seshadri

Otherwise known by my mind as the deep dark abyss of the unknown, where lots of terrible and scary things happen. Though I value spontaneity, there’s just something about knowing that has always comforted me. It helps to ease the mind of an over thinker like myself. The thing is, what I’ve come to realize more and more, is that life is FILLED with uncertainties and none of those things are in my control. Which brings me back to the million dollar question… “What do I do?” If anyone feels or has ever felt the same way I do, I get it. It’s hard when you feel this dissonance that seems impossible to resolve. What I’ve found that helps me, is to find solace in a very simple but seemingly scary idea…

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From Your Diary: Yashi Samrendra
Volume 1, November 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, November 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Yashi Samrendra

It took me a very long time to realize that I was approaching my entire identity incorrectly. Since my childhood I had boxed myself in; I was either a STEM student or a writer. The reality of the matter is: nothing is black and white, especially not individuals, especially not me. I am a writer, I am an artist, I am also someone that genuinely loves studying biology and economics. While I am still unsure of where I want to take this, I am confident that my writing is capable of shaping my own experience as well as those of others.

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From Your Diary: Anushree Rayarikar
Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Anushree Rayarikar

At first, this separation did not hit me too hard. I was dealing with so many other challenges -- navigating a foreign campus, making new friends, balancing classwork and a social life -- that I didn't even have time to realize my identity shift. However, as the dust settled, it became clear to me. As I met my new friends, and began to create a home for myself on this new campus, there was a part of me that felt empty. I had left behind a significant chunk of what made me, me. I had re-established myself here at ISU, but in doing so, forgot to include the most beautiful part.

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From Your Diary: Vikas Patel
Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Vikas Patel

Being the oldest child, more specifically, from an Indian family, the topic of mental health was always shunned and brushed off. The expectation to be strong, confident, and sure of me at all times without faltering or falling back was always present. Although I can remember days in middle school when I could not get out of bed, I also clearly remember pushing myself for fear of being deemed lazy or unmotivated by family and friends. Throughout this period, I had an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism of suppressing my feelings until they were no longer consciously present in my mind. This harmful way of living carried on until high school when I realized I struggled with my mental health.

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From Your Diary: Rachel Alexander
Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, October 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Rachel Alexander

Being the oldest child, more specifically, from an Indian family, the topic of mental health was always shunned and brushed off. The expectation to be strong, confident, and sure of me at all times without faltering or falling back was always present. Although I can remember days in middle school when I could not get out of bed, I also clearly remember pushing myself for fear of being deemed lazy or unmotivated by family and friends. Throughout this period, I had an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism of suppressing my feelings until they were no longer consciously present in my mind. This harmful way of living carried on until high school when I realized I struggled with my mental health.

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From Your Diary: Himani Jadeja
Volume 1, September 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, September 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Himani Jadeja

I don’t have a good relationship with my parents, grandparents, and extended family in general. I’ve faced trauma after trauma during my childhood, including multiple sexual assaults. It’s hard to get over the existing toxic relationships and trauma in your life that you grew up with and before I even realized, I found myself in a toxic romantic relationship for 9 years.

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From Your Diary: Vineeta Parupudi
Volume 1, September 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, September 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Vineeta Parupudi

As children who have grown up in the Indian culture, this emphasis on the importance of words merely doesn’t exist. Indian culture, in my personal experience, is a culture that is more firmly rooted in actions and achievements, not the words that describe the feelings behind any of that. As a consequence, despite all our beautiful languages capable of expressing the deepest love or the most harrowing pain, we as a culture don’t nearly utilize these words effectively and continuously fail to understand the impact that they have on our young children and the upcoming generations.

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From Your Diary: Arushi Kotru
Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Arushi Kotru

When I was 2 years old, my mom got a coupon in the mail for ballet class at the local dance studio. Little did she know, that coupon was the catalyst to my life-long relationship with dance. I slowly enrolled in other styles at the studio and eventually ended up joining the competitive dance team at the age of 11. Simultaneously, in 2007, I began taking classes in Bharatanatyam – Indian Classical dance. The closest studio was an hour away, but we made the drive every weekend. After 10 years of commuting back and forth, I completed my Bharatanatyam Arangetram in 2017. Finally, in 2019, I joined my university’s Bhangra team. I cannot remember my life without dance, but I do not want to imagine a life without it.

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From Your Diary: Kiran Rajan
Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Kiran Rajan

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life shaping my views of myself around what other people thought of me. To the point where I have no true knowledge of what it means to be “me”. In dealing with my own anxiety it feels like a part of myself was erased. Music is the last true glimpse I feel like I have of myself because I’ve allowed myself to create songs on mental autopilot.

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From Your Diary: Roshni Koul
Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Roshni Koul

“Chz Bozekh Kaath?” Every night before bed, my father would ask my brother and I if we wanted to hear a story about his life in Kashmir. We would rest our heads against his belly as he told us tales of working on the farm, walking miles to school, and playing by the river. As we grew older, his stories matured, too. We were slowly introduced to the horrors he faced as an adolescent- radical insurgency, terrorism, and death. Kashmir continues to be a disputed territory bubbling with turmoil and has been a site of religious intolerance and persecution.

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From Your Diary: Akshaya Iyengar
Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan Volume 1, August 2020 Janani Venkatesan

From Your Diary: Akshaya Iyengar

When I think back to my teenage years I see a slurry of long nights, feelings of inadequacy seeping into the days, and stretches of unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to stay afloat. To my South Asian immigrant parents, I was being difficult. To my teachers and peers at school, I was being too set on the impending future. To my friends, I was being me, a neurotic type A.

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